ME
I've been trying to let myself go a bit like this, because I've been hoping that by making small concessions on snacks and allowing myself to eat "bad" foods like carbs at meals, my relationship with food will not be as restrictive and turbulent like before. I want to have a 'happy' relationship with food. I don't want to feel like I'm counting every single calorie that I put into my mouth, or that I must stay away from certain foods. And I don't want to beat myself up every time I 'fail', and then double cut back on calories the next day to 'carry the excess calories over'. So I've been eating what I like most of the time, just in smaller portions, and not going yo-yo on my diet (binge-eating one day and starvation the next). I'm improving, I know, I can tell it in the way I view food and my body now. I still have some way to go though :/ Sometimes I still relapse back into my old way of thinking, like if I eat a chocolate bar for a snack I'd be tempted to skip dinner altogether, or when I see my body in the mirror, I'd go back to hating it and wishing I had skinner legs, or a smaller waist etc. But most of the time, I don't think like this anymore. Everytime I feel these negative thoughts creeping up in my head, I push them away and thank God for blessing me as a whole and healthy human. I know I'm not perfect, but then again, who is? I'm really trying to be more focused on being happy and contented now.
On a separate and completely irrelevant note, I finished my book "The Wicked Girls" by Alex Marwood.
It was a pretty good and gripping read (can you believe it's her first book!), I couldn't put it down once I started and had to use a lot of willpower to pry myself away. The plot twists a lot though, but I think it's good cause it gives a little variety to the storyline, but it got a bit confusing at times, because of the double identity issue with the protagonists, the many supporting characters on both sides, plus new people constantly being added in. They all make sense after a while, but when you initially read it you can kinda get confused about who's who and finding yourself backtracking on them. The ending was unpredictable though! I would never have seen it coming. So that's one book done. I now need to get my hands on a copy of Rachel Maddow's "Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power", I desperately want to read this book. I've heard so much about it, and the reviews of the book are all so good, plus it touches close to home for me, so I want to read it so bad. I wanted to buy it online at amazon but the copy being sold online is a hardcover version, and apparently there's a new paperback version coming out next March which has more pages in it. I don't know what the difference is between the 2 books, and what the extra pages are, and I don't want to spend 14 bucks on a book only to have a new version coming out soon. So maybe I'll find a way to download it for free online first or something. But I really really really wanna read that book.
<♥>
Hello, my name is Mylene.
Screams
Sunday, September 23, 2012
I am feeling like a total, complete slob these days. The weather's been brilliant outside, all sunny and warm, and the only thing I feel like doing is staying in my room, either hooked on scrolling through useless websites or feebly attempting to study. It's like my ass just refuses to budge from the chair. This is so bad. I 'blame' my current slob-like state on my ongoing period, and that when it's over I'll revert back to my more energetic state, but I know I'm just making lame excuses for laziness, LOL. And what's worse is that these days I keep feeling like eating carbs, so I've been eating bread and pasta for my meals. And on top of my three main meals, I've been allowing myself to eat one snack everyday. Yesterday it was one and a half egg tart shells, today it was a small bag of Popo Ikan Muruku. So you can tell I've really not been watching my diet at all, lol.I've been trying to let myself go a bit like this, because I've been hoping that by making small concessions on snacks and allowing myself to eat "bad" foods like carbs at meals, my relationship with food will not be as restrictive and turbulent like before. I want to have a 'happy' relationship with food. I don't want to feel like I'm counting every single calorie that I put into my mouth, or that I must stay away from certain foods. And I don't want to beat myself up every time I 'fail', and then double cut back on calories the next day to 'carry the excess calories over'. So I've been eating what I like most of the time, just in smaller portions, and not going yo-yo on my diet (binge-eating one day and starvation the next). I'm improving, I know, I can tell it in the way I view food and my body now. I still have some way to go though :/ Sometimes I still relapse back into my old way of thinking, like if I eat a chocolate bar for a snack I'd be tempted to skip dinner altogether, or when I see my body in the mirror, I'd go back to hating it and wishing I had skinner legs, or a smaller waist etc. But most of the time, I don't think like this anymore. Everytime I feel these negative thoughts creeping up in my head, I push them away and thank God for blessing me as a whole and healthy human. I know I'm not perfect, but then again, who is? I'm really trying to be more focused on being happy and contented now.
On a separate and completely irrelevant note, I finished my book "The Wicked Girls" by Alex Marwood.
It was a pretty good and gripping read (can you believe it's her first book!), I couldn't put it down once I started and had to use a lot of willpower to pry myself away. The plot twists a lot though, but I think it's good cause it gives a little variety to the storyline, but it got a bit confusing at times, because of the double identity issue with the protagonists, the many supporting characters on both sides, plus new people constantly being added in. They all make sense after a while, but when you initially read it you can kinda get confused about who's who and finding yourself backtracking on them. The ending was unpredictable though! I would never have seen it coming. So that's one book done. I now need to get my hands on a copy of Rachel Maddow's "Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power", I desperately want to read this book. I've heard so much about it, and the reviews of the book are all so good, plus it touches close to home for me, so I want to read it so bad. I wanted to buy it online at amazon but the copy being sold online is a hardcover version, and apparently there's a new paperback version coming out next March which has more pages in it. I don't know what the difference is between the 2 books, and what the extra pages are, and I don't want to spend 14 bucks on a book only to have a new version coming out soon. So maybe I'll find a way to download it for free online first or something. But I really really really wanna read that book.
 |
| I want a copy! |