ME
Balancing my life is proving to be very difficult, and I know I've let a lot of people down. I barely have time even for myself, let alone people who aren't physically here with me. I don't spend as much time Skyping my mother now, or texting her as often, and I know she's very unhappy with me about that. I hardly write to Anthony now and I know he's hurt and angry at me for neglecting him. I don't text Alona as much as I used to, and I know she's somewhat not happy with that too. And the truth is, it's really all my fault. You see, I spend so much of my days at the hospital that by the time I get home in the evening, the only thing I want to do (aside from sleep) is to spend time with Ginger. And I also make dinner for us on most days, I don't let him do it because he's not the best chef (lol), and also because he's a terribly slow one too. And then I still try and squeeze in an hour or so of studying on most nights, either reading up on a particular topic, or preparing for a tutorial the next day, or sometimes reviewing patients' histories for case reports and presentations. And so on weekends I just want to sleep in and lay in bed till late, and spend all my time with Ginger. But having to Skype my mother for HOURS gets to me, because all that's on my mind is going back to Ginger, not to listen to my mom go on about some random thing that just happened that I don't know and don't care for. But I can't do anything about that, and more often than not my impatience starts showing on my face, and then my mom starts getting angry at me and demanding to know why I can't even take a few hours a week to talk to her.
This is all my problem. It's a problem with my attitude, and I hate that I'm feeling this way. I know I'm in the wrong, but no matter how hard I try I can't stop myself from feeling this way. I don't know what to do.
<♥>
Hello, my name is Mylene.
Screams
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
SO. FUCKING.TIRED. Every single day is just so packed with so many activities that by the time I get home in the evening I'm exhausted and I don't want to do anything except lie in bed like a rock and just not move a single muscle. My brain automatically shuts down when I step through the front door, and I literally make a beeline for my bed and just flop myself on it. And I've barely begun my career, this is just the start and I'm already having trouble balancing everything.Balancing my life is proving to be very difficult, and I know I've let a lot of people down. I barely have time even for myself, let alone people who aren't physically here with me. I don't spend as much time Skyping my mother now, or texting her as often, and I know she's very unhappy with me about that. I hardly write to Anthony now and I know he's hurt and angry at me for neglecting him. I don't text Alona as much as I used to, and I know she's somewhat not happy with that too. And the truth is, it's really all my fault. You see, I spend so much of my days at the hospital that by the time I get home in the evening, the only thing I want to do (aside from sleep) is to spend time with Ginger. And I also make dinner for us on most days, I don't let him do it because he's not the best chef (lol), and also because he's a terribly slow one too. And then I still try and squeeze in an hour or so of studying on most nights, either reading up on a particular topic, or preparing for a tutorial the next day, or sometimes reviewing patients' histories for case reports and presentations. And so on weekends I just want to sleep in and lay in bed till late, and spend all my time with Ginger. But having to Skype my mother for HOURS gets to me, because all that's on my mind is going back to Ginger, not to listen to my mom go on about some random thing that just happened that I don't know and don't care for. But I can't do anything about that, and more often than not my impatience starts showing on my face, and then my mom starts getting angry at me and demanding to know why I can't even take a few hours a week to talk to her.
This is all my problem. It's a problem with my attitude, and I hate that I'm feeling this way. I know I'm in the wrong, but no matter how hard I try I can't stop myself from feeling this way. I don't know what to do.