ME
Jr and I broke up. He cheated on me, but at least he was honest enough to come forward and confessed, saying he was sorry and that I deserved better. I remember just going numb when he first told me, I didn't know what to think or say at all. Alona went and confronted him the moment I told her, but he was through with me. He said he loved me still, but that he was a piece of shit and I deserved someone better.
I kinda saw this coming. In a fucked up way, I was actually waiting for this day to come, as though I somehow knew it would one day. But even though I've been bracing myself for it, nothing prepared me for the pain still. I haven't cried, or screamed, or done anything yet though. I just feel empty inside. Like something has been yanked out and there's a huge gaping cavity there inside me now. I suppose it's becasue Jr was such a big part of my life for the whole of 2012. In a way I still can't get over the fact that he'll never be in my life ever again, that our lives will never be the way we've always dreamed and planned it would be- together. And it hurts to think of all the promises he made me, promises that he swore he would fulfill, just be broken like that. He was my world for over a year, and to see it crumble and disappear like that in just one day... I don't even know how to describe that feeling.
I don't regret my relationship with Jr at all. He was the reason I managed to get through 2012. He loved me, taught me, helped me through everything that was going on with my life. And I'll always be grateful to him for all that. There will be that part of me who will always love him, I'll never forget him. I'm not mad at him, I don't hate him for what he did to me. Things just didn't work out, we were never meant to be together. And I accept that reality, as heartbreaking as it is.
Alona and Anthony are both helping me get through this, I've got 2 weeks to hurt and grieve and be upset, and then I have to move on with my life. One chapter has ended, a new one is beginning to write itself. And if I constantly reread that old chapter, I'll never move forward and see what the next chapter holds. So 2 weeks.
<♥>
Hello, my name is Mylene.
Screams
Thursday, January 31, 2013
I kinda saw this coming. In a fucked up way, I was actually waiting for this day to come, as though I somehow knew it would one day. But even though I've been bracing myself for it, nothing prepared me for the pain still. I haven't cried, or screamed, or done anything yet though. I just feel empty inside. Like something has been yanked out and there's a huge gaping cavity there inside me now. I suppose it's becasue Jr was such a big part of my life for the whole of 2012. In a way I still can't get over the fact that he'll never be in my life ever again, that our lives will never be the way we've always dreamed and planned it would be- together. And it hurts to think of all the promises he made me, promises that he swore he would fulfill, just be broken like that. He was my world for over a year, and to see it crumble and disappear like that in just one day... I don't even know how to describe that feeling.
I don't regret my relationship with Jr at all. He was the reason I managed to get through 2012. He loved me, taught me, helped me through everything that was going on with my life. And I'll always be grateful to him for all that. There will be that part of me who will always love him, I'll never forget him. I'm not mad at him, I don't hate him for what he did to me. Things just didn't work out, we were never meant to be together. And I accept that reality, as heartbreaking as it is.
Alona and Anthony are both helping me get through this, I've got 2 weeks to hurt and grieve and be upset, and then I have to move on with my life. One chapter has ended, a new one is beginning to write itself. And if I constantly reread that old chapter, I'll never move forward and see what the next chapter holds. So 2 weeks.