ME
I think I'm still in shock, because none of this has really sunk in yet. I've been preparing myself for this for over 2 years now, ever since my dad first got diagnosed with cancer. I've been preparing myself for this for the past 6 months or so, ever since the doctor told him that his cancer is back and will only get worse. I've been preparing myself for this ever since last November when the tumour took his brain and my father lost almost all of who he was. And yet, I sit here today, still in shock, disbelief, and rage at how cruel and unfair this entire situation is. My dad doesn't deserve to go. He doesn't deserve to die so soon. He's barely 52, that's when most people start to reap and enjoy the fruits of their life labour. My dad's worked so hard all his life, and for what. He can never enjoy his fortune, and neither will the rest of us.
Sometimes all I want is to wake up from this nightmare. I want to open my eyes and see my daddy standing in front of me, talking to me like before. I want my old daddy back. I want the daddy that I grew up with, the one who gave me so many good memories, the one who shaped a large part of who I am today. I miss my father so much. And knowing that I will never get him back in this lifetime is a reality I still struggle so hard to accept. His cancer took him away from me so swiftly that I never got the chance to say goodbye. He went to bed one night as himself and woke up the next morning demented, and I never got my old daddy back ever since. I just want him back so much. I just want one day with my old daddy back.
It's too late for regrets now. Too late for all that "I wish I had treasured him more back then" and "You never know what you have until it's gone" crap. Now the only thing to do is to spend as much time with my father as possible, and enjoy whatever last moments I have left with him.
<♥>
Hello, my name is Mylene.
Screams
Thursday, March 21, 2013
I'm flying home. My dad fell down on Tuesday, and his condition has been rapidly deteriorating ever since. He's now paralysed, and the doctor doesn't give him much longer to live. My mother's always shielded me from the severity of my father's condition ever since he first got diagnosed with cancer, but today she just told me to come home as soon as possible, within the next 2 days if possible.I think I'm still in shock, because none of this has really sunk in yet. I've been preparing myself for this for over 2 years now, ever since my dad first got diagnosed with cancer. I've been preparing myself for this for the past 6 months or so, ever since the doctor told him that his cancer is back and will only get worse. I've been preparing myself for this ever since last November when the tumour took his brain and my father lost almost all of who he was. And yet, I sit here today, still in shock, disbelief, and rage at how cruel and unfair this entire situation is. My dad doesn't deserve to go. He doesn't deserve to die so soon. He's barely 52, that's when most people start to reap and enjoy the fruits of their life labour. My dad's worked so hard all his life, and for what. He can never enjoy his fortune, and neither will the rest of us.
Sometimes all I want is to wake up from this nightmare. I want to open my eyes and see my daddy standing in front of me, talking to me like before. I want my old daddy back. I want the daddy that I grew up with, the one who gave me so many good memories, the one who shaped a large part of who I am today. I miss my father so much. And knowing that I will never get him back in this lifetime is a reality I still struggle so hard to accept. His cancer took him away from me so swiftly that I never got the chance to say goodbye. He went to bed one night as himself and woke up the next morning demented, and I never got my old daddy back ever since. I just want him back so much. I just want one day with my old daddy back.
It's too late for regrets now. Too late for all that "I wish I had treasured him more back then" and "You never know what you have until it's gone" crap. Now the only thing to do is to spend as much time with my father as possible, and enjoy whatever last moments I have left with him.