ME
I think everybody yearns for that recognition, but I don't think anybody seeks it as much as I do. It frightens me sometimes to think that everything I do, I subconsciously do it to either please someone or rise up to someone else's expectations.
That's why when I bake, I love it when people eat it, compliment its taste, and come back for seconds. Best if they finish the cake asap because it's so good. I don't know why, I seek gratification in the knowledge that I can do this to make someone happy, and this is turn makes me feel better about myself. Suddenly, I don't feel so worthless anymore.
I know that I'm paranoid and have no self-confidence. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm better than what I think I am. But this just sounds so conceited to me. Maybe it's my Chinese genes, but I cannot bring myself to boast to others about myself. That's why I cannot sell myself at interviews or in job applications.
There's such a thin line between self-confidence and conceitedness.
<♥>
Hello, my name is Mylene.
Screams
Friday, September 16, 2011
If there's one thing I constantly strive for, it's recognition. Everything I do, I seek recognition for my efforts. I willingly work hard to produce the best results I can get, and when someone pats me on the back and says, "Good job!", it just makes my day. I have a dangerously low self-esteem level, and I suppose that's the reason why I constantly yearn to be recognised. It makes me feel valued, like I'm actually useful, purposeful. I think everybody yearns for that recognition, but I don't think anybody seeks it as much as I do. It frightens me sometimes to think that everything I do, I subconsciously do it to either please someone or rise up to someone else's expectations.
That's why when I bake, I love it when people eat it, compliment its taste, and come back for seconds. Best if they finish the cake asap because it's so good. I don't know why, I seek gratification in the knowledge that I can do this to make someone happy, and this is turn makes me feel better about myself. Suddenly, I don't feel so worthless anymore.
I know that I'm paranoid and have no self-confidence. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm better than what I think I am. But this just sounds so conceited to me. Maybe it's my Chinese genes, but I cannot bring myself to boast to others about myself. That's why I cannot sell myself at interviews or in job applications.
There's such a thin line between self-confidence and conceitedness.