Monday mail love:)





Look what my mom sent me!!! Loads of junk hahaha.

Labels: mail, monday

Annnndddddd.....

IT'S LETTERS WEEK AGAIN!!!:)))

Hahaha, I'm living life in alternate weeks nowadays- my letters week, his letters week, my letters week, his letters week... So time passes pretty fast actually. The sad thing about this week is, I have got my mid-sems and so I CANNOT REPLY ANY MAIL:( Plus there's bacteriology tutorial on Tuesday omg. Urrrgggghhh. Plus, I'm going away to Manchester from Friday till Monday night, so I can only start replying on Monday night earliest.

BORED OF STUDYING. As usual. Not like I've done anything much. PANIC PANIC PANIC. Hahaha.

Labels: letters week letters week letters week :)))

I am feeling so, so depressed right now. I know it's because I miss him so badly, and this is my letters week so I can expect a reply from him soon, but everyday that I wait for his letter, I feel more and more down, more and more lonely. The reality of our situation is hitting me harder than ever. Ever since his last letter I've been thinking alot about him, about US. I know that oftentimes, no good comes out of overthinking situations, but I can't help it. I trawl forums and blogs and talk to women in the same situation as me, for support and solace in the knowledge that I am not alone facing this right now. Our situation is not so bad already- he has a good shot at parole in a few months time, and then he'll be out. And in the worst-case scenario, he gets out in 2017. There are many women who are in love with a Lifer or someone on DR; I cannot imagine what they must be going through.

But as many times as I'm filled with happiness at the thought of us, I'm also consumed in equal proportions by the cold, harsh reality of our whole situation. How we met, how we're corresponding, how we developed feelings for each other, how our relationship is progressing- none of it conforms to the traditional relationship paradigm the society (and its people) that  I come from subscribe to. And when you are doing something as paradigm-altering as I am right now in a society that has comfortably settled into and hold steadfast to its traditional relationship notions, it is inevitable that people are going to judge, to criticize, to disapprove. And while I normally don't give two flying fucks about what other people think, the thing is that my parents are in fact part of these 'people' and I don't dare tell them anything about what I'm currently going through because I know what their reaction will be. And I can even understand where they're coming from.

I am so, so confused right now, my head is all messed up and I just can't wait for the coming mid-sems to be over. Fuck them, I just hope I pass, seriously. I cannot study straight now because of this whole thing, but I'll make sure I pass. I'm going to go to Manchester this coming weekend for a girly time with 2 JC friends, and I wanna use the time to clear my head and reorganise my thoughts on what to do. And if it weren't for the fact that I have Geraldine and Sarah here to talk to this about, I think I'll go insane, honestly.

Got another letter today!:) I wasn't expecting it, and to be half honest, I completely forgot I wrote to him. Well, it's a guy named Dennis and his mom had been asking around on the WAP's FB page for a very long time for pen-pals for him, and early this month his dad died and his mother wrote that he really needed a friend, so I felt sorry for him and decided to write to him. That was maybe about 2 weeks ago.




Anyway, his reply came today. He is AWFUL at spelling, lol!!! He did a cute thing by drawing a flower above my name on the envelope hahaha (see above), and the flower is like some child's drawing. He seemed pretty nice, so I'm gonna reply him, hopefully we will be able to hit it off as friends. He told me to go add him on FB, and that his mother will accept the friend request for him. So I FB PMed his mother this afternoon after I got the letter and told his mother that I got his reply and am gonna send him back one, and also that I was told to add him on FB. His mother accepted my friend request, and also added me as a friend lol, and I MAJORLY stalked him. He's really some wild party guy so I'm kinda afraid that we don't have much in common to talk about. And like, 5 minutes after I accepted his mother's friend request, she sent me 2 game requests??? LOL.

Haha, so now, pen-pal total currently stands at 5! Plus Dilyso, 6!:) Okay, this is getting to be a really expensive hobby haha:)

I know the week's not officially over, but honestly, I've had a very happy week so far. It's been a busy letters week- I've gotten 1st letters from 2 new pen-pals (one came on Monday and another just this afternoon), both of whom I thought were never going to reply me so I'd given up on them already, Qiaowei's letter came on Thursday (together with an uber cute panda sticker and a lovely origami cat!), and I got both Junior's and Jonathan's letters on Tuesday. That's the 2nd time BOTH their letters have synced in their arrivals haha. I was really surprised to receive the letters on Tuesday, because I was estimating a Wed, Thursday latest arrival, so it really made me so happy when I got home from school on Tuesday evening and found both their letters lying on the floor, waiting for me. Jonathan sent me a lovely picture of his son, Lattrell. I really appreciated that; it was his son's graduation photo from kindergarten, and to give it to someone like that is really very touching, and showed me that I meant enough to him for him to give up something as precious as that to me. I won't say anything about Junior's letters, cause really, the contents cannot be talked about now. AND THEN- and this is what really made this a very happy week- I got mail from Junior today again. I wasn't expecting it, so you can imagine my surprise and happiness when I saw it. I was so, so overjoyed. But it wasn't so much the mail that made me happy as its CONTENTS. Its contents made me so touched, I really can't describe that feeling without sounding crazy. All I know is that it cleared away some of the doubts that I've been having about us. And I'm not going to reveal what it was that made me so touched, not now anyway. Replies have been sent on Thursday, and I intend to send my replies on Monday to the new pen-pal letter I just received, and to Qiaowei.

4 pen-pals now, I think I've had enough already. I'll just concentrate on these 4, but especially on Junior. I really, really focus all my energy and effort on that one guy, thank God he appreciates it haha. Really, one day, I'll explain everything that's been happening. When I reread my blog posts about all these, I get very confused myself, and I sound like a lunatic even to myself. But when the time is right, I will write out a longass blog post and explain everything out.

Labels: letters, pen-pals

LETTERS WEEK LETTERS WEEK LETTERS WEEK =)))

Labels: letters week

Hello, I'm Mylene.

I love God, my family, my close friends, chocolate, Nutella, Nugatti, baking, desserts, crunchy peanut butter, trying out new food places, books, travel, airplane food, snail mail, vintage anything, medicine, wearing blood-red clothes, The Desiderata, stickers, hearts, making cards and origami, watching comedies, reading mystery/detective novels, playing mystery/detective games, mocha, yoghurt with fruits, dogs, quirky bags, soft & fluffy towels, pretty lingerie, Christmas, heels I cannot walk in, polka dots, smiles.

I try not to hate on anyone or anything because it's a waste of my time and energy. If I don't like it, I'll either try to change it or just ignore it.

I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, and be the best person that I can be.